AEGIS

Weekend 3

2012-02-02T16:19:00.000-05:00

Had a meeting with advisor on a Sunday! A grad student needs that to help understand what the next five years will be like :D
Sounds like fun, it does.

Weekend 2 - Cafe Intermezzo

2012-01-23T18:19:00.002-05:00

Didn't go out to anywhere exotic, but did check out this awesome Cafe Intermezzo in Atlanta. Totally worth it for the ambiance. Its not a must-go for someone who is visiting Atlanta, but definitely a lot-can-happen-over-a-coffee place. And they give an insane amount of coffee when you order the Intermezzo house coffee.

In other news, tried to cheer up roommate who has been thinking very hard about something that is bothering her. Helping others helps.

To be or not to be, that was the question

2012-01-21T23:24:00.003-05:00

So the way PhD admits work in most universities in the USA is that you first get admitted to a program, take a qualifying exam to see if you qualify or not for the program, and stay if you pass it. It is probably a good standard operating procedure.
But I wanted to do a masters. Why? Because I hadn't thought about what I wanted to do by the time I graduated from college. I wanted more time.
But Georgia Tech decided - hey lets give people who want to do a Masters a chance to do a PhD, and lets see how they make fools of themselves. So they offered me a PhD admit. And me being the slacker that I am, thought 'Hey, this means more time to think about what I want to do. Plus they are paying me for figuring this out. So why not? Yay!'
But I was still not crystal clear on if PhD was The thing that I wanted. So I said to myself 'Qualifiers are to be taken in Jan. If I fail, I'll still get a second shot at them in May. If I fail then, then I get kicked out of the PhD. Therefore, I still have almost a year to decide. Cool.'
Nevertheless, I study hard for both written and oral qualifiers (need to pass both parts individually to be qualified). The exams seem to go pretty bad. So I just hope to pass one of them, so that I have to study only for the other one in May, giving me not too much pressure but also the flexibility.
And as luck has it, I pass both written and oral in the first attempt. I am happy and relieved and all that, because this means that I won't have to think about it again and I can focus more on the What question, rather than thinking 'Should I pass the exam next time?' and spending time in strategizing for quals. But the chance of being able to fail and not end up doing a PhD is gone! I mean, why me? There are people I know who want to do a PhD, it has been their dream for goodness knows how long. Some failed twice and have to leave with a masters. They wanted to pass, but didn't. And I ~~wanted to~~ could have failed without getting shatterd, but didn't.
It amazes me sometimes that things that I really want, I might not get very easily. And thing that I could do without (like a PhD), hah! it comes served with dressing right in my plate. Life can be unpleasant, oh yes.

Weekend 1 - Stone Mountain

2012-01-17T03:33:00.002-05:00

Went to a park called Stone Mountain near Atlanta, Georgia. It claims to be the world's largest piece of exposed granite.
And it has a beautiful view of the city!

That tiny triangle with light on top of it is the BankAm building. It is THE landmark in Atlanta. (Also it is lit up so extravagantly ALL the time, makes me feel US deserves recession to learn a lesson. But that is besides the point.)

Stone Mountain has been around for a long time. Lot of people write about their love here. I can't stop admiring the resemblance of this to Indian Mountains.

Although we think this could be faked. Next time I go there, I'll probably write 1657 :)

And a friend who stayed in another friend's living room left for India. Forever. He smiled :)

The last - the first

2011-12-31T11:07:00.002-05:00

31st December it is. It is the last day of my graduation year. 2011. Time flies. And all that.

Was this a productive year? Oh yes – I went through big transitions. But the best part is that they don’t feel like change at all.

As for new year’s resolution – I will travel every weekend. Will never sit at home and “chill”.
Why – life has so much more to it than hanging out on Google+.
Where – anywhere in the US, and one long international backpacking tour.

Happy New Year you!!
Do write about your resolutions too!

Dancing

2011-10-22T18:00:00.001-04:00

When was the last time you danced a dance where you didn't need to know how to dance? Try contra dancing. If you are in the US somewhere, I am sure you'l find some place near you that conducts contra dancing weekly or biweekly, or every so often. The place that I went to had 70% oldies. Literally! Retired people with white hair. Believe me when I say this - I was panting by the end of it, and they were merrily dancing. And I couldn't stop smiling!

That is what I love about dancing. Dance like there's nobody watching , its heaven on earth.

And speaking of dancing, I would love to do a Where The Hell Is Matt:

Can't think of anything probably more mentally satisfying than this for now.

PS: Matt dances in Atlanta, Georgia at 3:21. Although I don't know where in Atlanta that is!

Blogging

2011-10-21T15:01:00.002-04:00

So Akshat and his blog often keep motivating me to write my blog. One - because he was the one who introduced me to writing. Two - because he writes consistently, and I have realised that it takes a lot to do that. And that is what marks difference between have readers and not having readers.
Everyone who writes often has at least a couple of hundred followers. It doesn't have to be life turning content. It can be just anything, like regulars of life (which will mostly just be read by your friends and stalkers), or information overload (you can actually earn money, there are that many people who read for the data), or humor (needless to say how many takers there are for that). Hobby blogs are nice to have (of which photography blogs are the easiest, IMO), because I wouldn't have to think of what I want to write, or how many people would read it, or how much impact my blog has.
Of course, the first rule about blogging is that you shouldn't worry about readers. There will always be people passionately extremist with their views about your post. So I don't go overboard bothering about that, unless I have written something that deeply harms others' sentiments. But the best kind of writing comes when I write like no one is reading, inspired from 'dance like no one is watching'. That kind of writing is pure, raw and genuine. I don't have to write to sync my thoughts to anyone else's choice, and the style not catered to other's liking. Opinions are true, hypocrisy nil.
And I know of friends who you find readers who agree/disagree with their thoughts, to end up making friends for life. Great deal, I say.

Failed resolution

2011-10-19T14:24:00.002-04:00

So there goes my resolution of writing one post a day. The last post I wrote was 10 days ago. And I did not force myself to write another post in that cozy vacation that I took. Did I really not have time to write? Well... Yes I have been busy. Made a painting for my sister for her birthday. Went on a vacation to Niagara Falls and around. Learning to play the guitar. But does that give me an excuse to not write? Hell no! So why then did I not write? Because of the same old reason - no motivation. And that is the point of this whole exercise, right? To get over writer's block, to get over needing any motivation at all to write.

But damn, its hard. I have most definitely failed myself. And does that make me feel disgusted with myself? For this case no, and that is where I am going to capitalize. Getting over the failure faster, so that I can get back on my own feet again.

Grass is always greener on the other side

2011-10-09T11:51:00.000-04:00

Always. Even after you have the best.

Because the best option will also have a tiny shortcoming. And in most cases, there is another option which probably isn't as good as the best, but covers that shortcoming. Also, an option that is truly perfect won't usually exist in real situations. But being our usual human greedy selves, we always look for how that tiny shortcoming is going to make life better, and how we are miserable without it. I am sure that if I was on the other side, there would've been something about this side that would've made me jealous of this side. Obviously, if something is good and fairly effortless to get, why would I want to not have it?
Yes yes, I know, ye sab moh maya hai. But how to get rid of the moh and the maya? By accepting good over better, and then consciously not wishing to have the better? Or by consoling myself by keeping in mind the downs of all the things I wish I had? Well, all things/people/products have their pros and cons. So this method ought to work, I guess.
But my problem is here : what if I have no moh-maya left, and I end up being happy with substandard things? After all, moh-maya do get you close to what you think is the best of the lot. And that definitely makes life less miserable. If I had no moh/maya/desire for working with a good prof, I would not have had the 10+ meetings with the group members, or gone to the group meetings, or talked endlessly to seniors about general advice. Which implies that I wouldn't have ended getting that particular prof as my advisor. Of course, I would've got some other prof as my thesis guide, but not this one (who happens to be one of the stud-est profs at GeorgiaTech). Good or bad?
Human brain is strange. It makes most decisions based on the greed of wanting something which is our version of good. And when you get there, somehow it finds other now-bygone things which it thinks probably could've made a slightly better choice. But you have been told that greed is not the best practice to practise, so you shut up thinking about the other case. 'But hey, life will be so much better if only this once I should be given a chance to change my choice. Never again will I wish for the other option.' But if I never wish for better-than-the-rest options again, I will settle for the non-top choice. And no, I don't want that. Grrr.

Haha, this is called getting caught up in moh-maya about moh-maya! So until I figure out or some of you tell me how to get out of it, I am going to let it be a motivator to encompass all kinds of things that I want and try to achieve them all together. Of course I know I will fail in this, and later feel I should have gone down that other path. But hey, grass is greener on the other side, remember?

My Awesome

2011-10-07T00:44:00.000-04:00

You know those people who blow you away in the first meet? Who make you say, "I want to be like him!!" That is my definition of awesome people. I am not referring to inspiring figures like Churchill, or Bill Gates, or Mozart. I am talking about people around me in flesh and bone, people like you and me, people who I can talk to if want to, regular people who live real lives everyday as I live. And somehow I have always managed to find at least one awesome person wherever I am. There has always been at least one person that I look up to and say "That guy is God." Because everything they say or do is just right! Am I judging them? Oh no no no. The awe that they manage to strike in me is what makes me think everything is right. I have loved being around such awesome people, because it challenges me to try completely new things, makes me iterate ways so that I can try match that quality. Of course, later as I got to know my awesome people, they turned out to be as human as I am :). Makes me smile.
Fast forwarding to me being at Gatech. Obviously, I had expected to find these awesome kind of people by the thousands here. After all, Gatech is number 4 on the list of best engineering schools in the US, and only the best get here. What did I find? Mild disappointment of not getting blown away even once till now. Are these people not good enough? Of course not, they are the best. But they aren't seasoned like my other awesome people were. And I definitely couldn't think of a reason why these people could be so different in that respect.
Until I noticed this - We don't really think of practice as a tool to get better in real life. I have always associated practice with getting better at math, or a sport, or dance. And I am sure most people do the same. Then when I started participating in paper presentation competitions, I noticed the degree to which practice can turn tables. No one is a born presenter, everyone just gets better at it at different rates. And now when I make an analogy, I think my awesome people practiced their awesomeness. I am sure they didn't do it consciously, and definitely didn't fake it. But the peer effect, or the high ideals, or need to get better, or whatever it is that worked with them, worked in a way that they had to be their awesome selves more often. To a point that awesomeness radiated from them.
Obviously, my awesome people won't be your awesome people. You will have your own points of distinction between brilliant and genius, between smart and intelligent, of distinguishing them from the others around. Note - here at Gatech we do have stud professors who are geniuses and pioneers in their fields, teaching us good stuff. But they are exceptional, and not my definition of "people like you and me". But the point is - my brain now refuses to identify perfect/awesome people in Gatech. I do respect a lot of people here. But no one blew me away.
Would that be because I have raised the bar of people getting into my awesome club? Or did I not meet the right people? Or are they just not there yet? Or a combination of all? Or something completely different?

Or the worse, have I matured over idealizing? :)

The Inspirer, Non-nurturer

2011-10-05T22:31:00.000-04:00

One of the most inspiring figures of my time, Steve Jobs, passed away today. His commencement speech at Stanford was what had introduced me to him, and it is the best thing I have ever heard. "Look for something that you love to do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't stop. Keep looking." I cannot say loudly enough how much that speech inspires me and everyone else that I know. It is pure, raw, true advice. Trust me, listen to him talking once and you will want to do exactly that. His death is the end of an era, they say. It may be true, I don't know. I just know that the man who said "Stay hungry, stay foolish" with the conviction that could convince me, is gone. And he will always be remembered as the only person that could inflict Stay Foolish in me.

Rest in peace, dear Jobs.

Barcamp

2011-10-04T12:36:00.000-04:00

Barcamp Mumbai 7 (#BCM7) happened in Mumbai (Bombay) on Sunday, Oct 3rd 2011, and I missed being there so SO much!! Because for one, there was a time when I was in a phase of thinking that Barcamp was the reason of my existence (yes, I do have those stupid phases :). Doesn't everyone?). For two, all the awesome sessions that I missed makes me so so jealous of the people who got to attend!! Well for those who don't know it, barcamp is an ad-hoc gathering of smart people.... (check the whole definition on the main page). For me, it is a kick ass event, with awesome talks, unlimited gyan, awesome networking, awesome people. You should definitely go to BCM8 if you haven't already planned on it. And the website, HA!! Smart thing to make a wiki page! Fooled me into thinking that Barcamp-Mumbai-7 has a wikipedia page (some connections you would have to have to get a wikipedia page for an event, huh?)
If you want a thousand pictures of Barcamp Mumbai 7, look at the wonders Devdas' Nikon DLSR did - http://dvb.homelinux.org/~devdas/photos/2011/barcamp/ (You have to be a tech savvy to know how to download those close-to-million photos, else you'll spend more than a week only browsing through them). For other photos, videos, write-ups about it, they are listed on the BCM7 main page.
Obviously, I am going to find a barcamp Atlanta and try to get it more popular than it was before. And obviously, people in India are going to be as jealous as I am of them right now. Just you wait!

There and back again!

2011-10-03T20:24:00.001-04:00

Getting back to blogging, I am!! Why am I getting back? Because of this post by Seth Godin. You can't have a talker's block, and in the same way you can't have a writer's block if you practice enough. So write a post everyday, however bad it is. I'll get better with time, I know that for sure. That is how you get over the worry of people not liking your blog. Well, yeah I know there aren't many who are too excited about this except me. But hey, isn't that the whole point?

In any case, I am out of my country, trying to make new friends, understand new culture, look into new possibilities. Do I want to describe my life here? - No. But I am definitely writing about the insights (?) that I gain. Of course they are not going to be universal preachings. Because I don't want to become Seth Godin or Paul Graham. They are great people, and I very closely follow their blogs. But I am not them, and preaching is going to take a while to come to me. Although I am going to adapt some writing style from them. Like writing 100 words or less in a post, especially if I am blogging too frequently.

So there, this was today's post. See you on the other side of the sunrise.

Why I love it already

2010-11-27T01:40:00.011-05:00

Dhobi Ghat (Mumbai Diaries)

I absolutely _loved_ the trailer because of the following

The so many different kinds of skylines of Mumbai shown.
The way they write X 'meets' Y, and the look that X gives Y right after.
All characters so different, yet exactly same.
Great camera work, even better editing. Kudos.
New faces, patron film-maker.
The toe ring of Shai's that they show.
Background score, its repitition. Excellent.
Island, survival, lives, loss, hope, Mumbai.
Eyes.

The whole movie is going to be even better. Can't wait to watch.

Dream reCall

2010-04-10T00:31:00.011-04:00

I have dreams like everyone else does. Nah, don't worry, I won't ramble about those 'I have a dream' wala dreams (no denying that they are very inspiring). I am referring to the literal meaning of dreams - those that you get when you are asleep.

I don't know if its everyone or just me, but I have long long dreams. And sometimes they are so dramatic that I feel I could write books or make movies on them (I must say, my dreams could be influenced by my relentless movie-watching). They have all the components required to make a movie or a book exciting - the mystery, curiosity, then the drama, which leads to a build up that goes to a climax and then - cuts off, because I wake up at excatly that moment when it gets the most interesting. I keep coming up with curious cases, most of them totally unrelated to me. I have been in wars, have seen giant caterpillars on my terrace, have had thieves in my house, been a director of a play, seen talking horses, and loads more in my dreams. The only bad part is that when I get up, the memory of my dream starts receding so rapidly that even if I try to recall what happened, the details just slip away. In few cases, the general idea of my dream remains with the rest forgotten, and most of the times I don't even realise that I had a dream.

Another thing I noticed was that my dreams are multi-lingual. Intuitively I would think that dreams should play in my mind in Marwadi (my mother tongue). But I discovered that I have also had dreams in Marathi, I have had people speaking English intermittently, Hindi... I am pretty sure it has been spoken in my dreams ( I don't really remember). But most of my dream are silent , like Pushpak. Not that the characters are visually very active to convey something, just that since it is my dream I just understand what is to be said without them uttering it. Or probably in those dreams, after I am awake I simply forget what language was spoken. Could be any of those, or maybe something else that I haven't thought of.

I have been wondering why we forget dreams, and I have been thinking what I could do to keep them in, to not let them helplessly slip away. I figured that if you recount it when you are conscious, it gets far more firmly embedded in your memory cells and it is then hard to let at least the general idea slip away. So for a few days I tried the following: the first thing I did after I woke up was go to my friends and tell them what dream I had. Unfortunately, those 10 seconds that it takes me to get up and go to the friends' room makes the details miraculously disappear and leave loose ends to the story. So today I tried to tell the story to myself instead, to save on the time but realised that since my unconscious mind already knows the story, telling myself the story does not make me recall the details - which makes me forget them, and I somehow create an information loop that I cannot break and it leads to bad confuzzlement.

I will someday come up with a solution to this. My dreams are the probably the most creative things that happen to me, and consistently too, so will just like it to write for my record.

Update: I recently came across an XKCD through Navin Kabra after I tweeted a dream about Lost (the TV series which was an insult to science fiction).Happens to many, it seems.

Blog Action Day-Climate Change

2009-10-15T14:13:00.003-04:00

This post is for the Blog Action Day being celebrated all over the world on 15th of October, and this year's topic is climate change.

Climate is literally changing everywhere, including Maharashtra (India) where seasons shifted by a month or so. Intense summer lasted till July, and it rained cats and dogs in October. We see that something abnormal is happening which is making the routine climate take a new course, not altogether different but a little askew.

We gotta do something about it sure, but 'What' is the question.

To start with, we can try polluting (all - air, land and water) less. Conserve natural resources to the extent you can. Start afforestation, water looping and throwing less garbage out of the window and put it into the bins. Conserve water (start telling waiters not to serve you water after you are done :P). And Indians, please educate yourself to know that there is a concept of not throwing banana peels, plastic water bottles, vada pavs, tea/coffee cups, etc. out of moving trains (not for nothing are we called 'anaadi').

Small things you start with will make big differences later.

Do your share to help prevent a catastrophe due to this gradual climate change.

Extreme Engineering

2009-09-11T11:30:00.007-04:00

Wow, this is one of the best things I have seen in ages. And its do-able, thats why its so cool.

Crazy room.

Inspiring?

2009-08-15T11:27:00.008-04:00

These were the videos that I grew up with and loved to watch, and now suddenly they have stopped casting it. And its just on the Indepence Day or the Republic Day that we watch them, or not at all. I would like to make a list of the ones which are lost these days.

Mile Sur Mera Tumhara

Baje Sargam

Thought(less)

2009-07-15T13:27:00.003-04:00

So I have been wasting my time on the internet. So much so that I can't even evaluate what I did in the entire day when I was sitting with my computer. The main culprit is GTalk. Once I start talking to someone I don't stop. And at other times when no one is online, I keep checking on GTalk if anyone has come every now and then. Or play WordTwist. I agree its good, sharpens your mind and stuff, but it kinda grows on you after a while. So it’s boring, really. I mean how desperate is that, playing all the time on Facebook out of lack of anything else to do?! Nothing productive comes out of it, and you won't even realize how your precious time is eaten up. And regret doesn't come your way, not even later. Just emptiness, hollow blank periods that didn't add any value to your time or yourself as an individual. Well, even I don’t know the answer to why I still keep doing it. I just know that that is one bad thing which happened to me and I want to get rid of it. So I am trying to divert to other topics, trying to do the following things:
1. Twitter – it is more informative than newspapers and textbooks if you follow the right people.
2. Work on a college website – no luck if I don’t stick to what I have planned and make people act.
3. Start reading more – I have forgotten how to read since I came to UD. Most of my free time is spent in front of the computer doing nothing.
4. Blog – at least that’ll make me think about something.
5. Listen to music – people say that music turns moods and saves you a lot of repetition of stressful thoughts. My mind just shuts off the music as though its noise, so working on improving that.
6. Probably will get up earlier, so that I can give myself some time. Trust me, you don’t get a private moment when you stay in a hostel.
7. Will speak to my mum and dad everyday. They really give direction to my thought process, and keep me motivated.
So I am keeping my fingers crossed for all of these things to work. I know some of them will need perseverance, but that’ll be done. After some good initiative and staying through with them for a while, others will take shape. There is this force, I guess of nature, which drives you to your own good (the things written above are the least that I can and I should manage, nothing of “good”, but still) and makes you say “Mutthi mein hai takdeer hamari”. Hope I will change mine.
So to start in small steps, no GTalk from now onwards.

Attachments

2009-05-12T01:53:00.009-04:00

Biggest joke of the millenium - my father's birthdate. His passport says 26th February, but he very recently found out that it probably is 25th of February (my grandpa wrote that in his personal diary when my dad was born). I don't know how they managed to give different birthdates on the birth certificate (the hostpital gives that the moment you are born, right?) on one hand and all the other documents on the other, or how my dad never managed to check this ever before, or how my grandparents forgot what date he was born on; it seems impossible but it has happened. For 49 years he lived with that birthdate and it was shocking to find this out. When we were thinking of doing something about the birthdate, understandably he didn't want to. It had been like his belonging for all his life now, and giving it away for a new one just wasn't done.

There are some things that are intimately yours, that give you warmth when you think about them. Long association with those things make them yours. Although they don't play a mojor role in your life, you don't even think about those things when they are around and they seem to be the most insignificant things, life does not seem complete without them. Like the window in my room. Its just beside my study table, gives a lot of fresh breeze with plants outside it and has a place where I can sit. I have spent so much time there reading, contemplating, daydreaming, and at times just sitting there at night when I couldn't sleep. I don't miss the window when I am away from home back in the hostel, but I can certainly not think of my room without that window there in exactly the same position.

There are so many other things like this - material things, mind you, living ones are out of question - that you so love without knowing. They are a part of what you are being as insignificant as they are, but define you well. Even your favourite music, or your own pen, or the best photo that you clicked. Its the attachment with them that works. They belong to you, don't they?

No Silence

2009-04-01T16:27:00.005-04:00

The one thing that you don't get in Bombay is privacy. You'll find every other thing here. From learning how to electroplate, to the Dava Bazaar, to finest leather in Dharavi, to best educational institutions, to filmstars, to gangwars, highest paid officials, to the Cuffe Parade slum next to the elite Cuffe Parade... everything. Except privacy. There are so many people everywhere here, on roads, overflowing in local trains, in parks, on playgrounds, in restaurants and hotels, on benches labled "Ghanshamdas Saraf Trust", beaches, overpacked in hostels and flats, on the Marine Drive, leaving no corner of the city where one can go in times when you need to be alone.
Its the prosperity of the city, and its spirit that won't die and cannot be killed, the fast life and the enthusiasm all around that attracts everyone here. I, having stayed for a significant time in 3 cities, love Bombay the most and believe that everyone should stay in Bombay and experience its Energy at least once in their life. But when you come here you'll find that accomodation is expensive. Its takes more money than others cities to stay and eat in Bombay.
And there are so so many people around here having the same profile as you do, that you have to be really rich or well placed to enjoy comforts over the city. Like, say you go to a restaurant and pay a bomb for the ambience, and there'll be a big family with crying children and screaming parents who'll come and spoil the serene mood. You feel down for once, and you go to Marine Drive to stare at the sea into oblivion, and there'll be a group of teenagers who'll come beside you and start dancing to Koi Kahe (DCH). I go out with my friends sometimes too, and we have a lot of fun and make a lot of noise. But then there is one part of me that wants to go out alone and sit there with no one disturbing me. Hmm... and you never get that privlage in Bombay. There are times when you had a bad day and you want to come home and just sit and not speak to anyone. But staying in hostel makes it impossible for you to even drop your face. You either have to pretend that you are happy, or be declared by someone as a saddy. I wonder, doesn't everyone go through these times?
Well I have become so used to having so many people around me that I become really sad when I go home. Parents out for work and my little brother in school leaves me with no one in the house for almost the entire day. I wonder how I am going to survive after I complete my graduation here. You so get used the constanst buzzing in the corridors and simply the human presence around you at all times of the day, it gets lonely in solitude. But Bombay teaches me how to adjust anywhere, so be it here in this place noisy as it is, or some time later in my life when I have dead silence all around me.
But till then, I like the No-Silence-No-Privacy that Bombay gives.

6th sense

2009-03-28T09:58:00.011-04:00

You watch this video and read further.

Tell me now, is this stuff going to be useful in India and especially in places like Bombay where I don't buy everything from big malls? Well, for one I am waiting for even all the malls being wi-fied, I get bored even with the cabled internet connection that I get here. I mean, say I have to buy some fruits and of course, being the wasted kid I don't know how to look for good ones. Can this device mysteriously enlighten me as to how to make a good choice? Or suppose I have to make a choice between Chemical Engineering and Mechanical Engineering. I already know the facts on how both these branches are and am unable to figure out which one I like better (or worse for that matter). As for the information-on-people thing, here in India the clothes that people wear are way too colourful for you to be able to read whatever that device is displaying. And doesn't the fingering need a little expertise, every one here won't be able to do it so well I guess. And sure not the least, doesn't it make you look like a fool when you carry such things around your neck all over the place? Sure I wouldn't spend a 20K for that!

Sixth sense they call it, huh!!

Dirty nails and bright smile

2009-03-23T00:02:00.004-04:00

I had gone home this weekend, sitting in the door of the train compartment with my legs dangling out. Well, there is nothing like the fresh air of Kasara Ghat running through your hair. So I was sitting there staring into the dark night sky when this kid of about 10 came and sat next to me in that wee bit of place I had left. I asked him why he was alone and where he was going, he said his parents were dead and he sweeped Kalyan station for money. And he slept on Igatpuri station, since Kalyan station was so crowded with the homeless "workers" that they formed a gang and did not allow new comers to settle there. So this kid sleeps on the paltform every night, goes to Kalyan early in the morning, cleans the platforms and the local trains sometimes and begs for money from the passengers (he is not employed for sweeping), eats what his 'earnings' allow him to purchase (which is often not more than a vada-pav) or whatever the passersby give him out of pity, and travels back to Igatpuri in the ladies compartment of intercity trains.
This is the life of a kid who is 10 year old, who has an older brother and an older sister. He studied till class 4 and dropped out of school after his parents died. His brother gets drunk all the time and beats him until the kid bleeds, so he ran away from home. His grandparents beat him too, curse him for his parents' death. His sister who is married makes him serve tea at shops for money which he does not like to do. So he took up a profession that he likes because there is no one here who orders him. He likes it here because he can see so many people who work everyday, have good jobs and dress up nicely. It gives him inspiration, he says, to study when he would be able to so that he gets to live a little like these people. His ambition in life is to study till 12th std, 'not 10th' because he knows education pays.
Right now he is all black with dirt, he doesn't even get to bathe due to water scarcity. But he likes dreaming about schools where there are rooms for students to stay, they provide clean uniforms, and give half a glass of milk every morning to each kid. Half a glass of clean white milk, thats big for this kid who gets moistened biscuits and rubbery 'chewda' for meals.
He says its very good that I am doing engineering, I am a good girl. When he got down on Igatpuri staiton, I wished him good luck for studying. He had looked back and gave some expression that I could not see in the dark. All I remember of him is dirty nails and a bright smile.

Theatre in you

2009-03-04T05:23:00.004-05:00

The other day I went to Prithvi Theatre in Juhu where winners of Mood I were performnig. They screened a silent movie, which was excellently made by IIT-B as a tribute to Charlie Chaplin.
Then they had a talk (called it workshop) by Thespo on how to stay with theatre after college, if you have passion for it.
Most of us, including me, come from middle class families. The most important things to your and my parents is to do very well at our job. We might do theatre when in college, because after the academic period we get serious about life and focus on our careers. In India we tend to work very hard at things that earn money, to run a house or buy clothes or stuff. Here by and large, our work defines what we are. What we forget is that we need to get back to something after we are done with ‘work’.
In India, we listen. To our parents, to elders, the experienced. Not listening here is just not done. They (parents) tell us that after education you have them to look after; you have your family to put up, it’s a big responsibility. So we take our first job which is kind of very important to all of us. We say ‘Let me first get stabilised in my work, I’ll then get back to theatre’. Career starts taking a good turn, but then the theatre in you starts getting killed. Getting back to theatre is far more difficult than just staying with it in a small way is.
Theatre has its own virtues to give. It teaches you how to keep balance between every aspect that you are living with, without affecting the quality and quantity of work that is feeding you. It gives you maturity in terms of interaction and handling situations. The creativity that you bring into your work because of theatre is something that really helps enhance working skills. And it gives you something to get back to after work, something that you can relate to.
There is more to theatre than just acting and direction. While talking in general about theatre we don’t speak about the fact that there are funds to be raised, advertisements to be put up in papers, someone has to make the brochure, someone has to talk to the journalists and make them write about your play in an interesting manner, there have to be PR guys and stuff. So everyone can contribute to it in whatever way they want.
Doing theatre with work is hard. You have almost zero social life; you have to compromise on a lot of things, and make many sacrifices, on sleep as well as time. Full time theatre is rough, finance is difficult to come (lets face it, theatre in India has no money), and completing assignments can get tough. But the passion to do it all makes it happen. In Bombay one project cannot go on till more than 3-4 weeks. It’s hard enough to get all the performers practice for 4 weeks. Renting a practice place is expensive, there is hardly any funding. Time is always low, and there is always tension. But at the end things always work out and all assignments can be completed.
So the easiest thing to do to stay with the theatre is keep in touch with it, watch two plays a week or maybe a month or whatever your job allows. Things are changing so fast that that not keeping in touch is going to change your frame of reference. Stay in touch even if it is just attending to Thespo readings on the last Monday of every month. Also choose your jobs according to what you are going to do in theatre, how many hours of practice it is going to require, how much creativity from the theatre you can get in your work. Like, a guy handling PR has a better arena to display his creativity from working at theatre than someone in accountancy, analytics is. So choosing the right kind of job, convincing a parent or a boss about how theatre is not a bad thing to do are major helpers.
So go ahead, because you don’t want to turn 50 and regret not pursuing your passion.

Free Time

2009-02-20T05:21:00.005-05:00

We have exams going on, so we 'need' to do long sittings for studying at a stretch, and then we take a break for like 1 hour and then again continue to study. So that day we came up with this general trend of what each of us will do in the break or our free time, things that we loooove to do.

Kosa - watches a movie.
Sojwal - studies a different subject.
Ayushi - studies (because she day dreams in the time that we are supposed to study).
Purna - eats Choche's lunch, dabba.
Prachi - caters to the coffee machine, water or cups or coffee powder.
Harshada - will start exercising.
Me - goes to sleep.

No one can put numbers to my dreams!

2009-02-16T00:18:00.005-05:00

Gantavya is a guy studying engineering from COEP, Pune, and immensely enjoys his life.
Plays tabla, drums, guitar, does robotics, participates in all kinds of techfests and cultural fests, sings, debates, writes poetries, acts in and wins streetplays, his college made a world record for worlds longest painting, has interviewed Tanuja Chandra (director zindagi rocks, lajja, etc), plays cricket, TT.
Apart from the extra curriculars, he loves to laugh, is passionate and optimistic about everything he does (orkut: about me). Does everything that appeals to him, and lets nobody stop him. They can't measure his dreams, they can't stop his dreams.
Once he got weary and tired and angered at exams, and wrote this.

No one can put numbers to my dreams!

I dream of the first rain, the deafening sky

I dream of the silence, of a stream flowing by;

I dream of her smile, the twinkle in her eye,

My heart leaps, I have wings to fly!

I dream of a world, not bound in pages;

I seek the wisdom, gathered through ages.

I dream exploring distant lands, distant places;

My eyes no more, can read through lines and spaces.

Assignment, tutorials, endsems they keep,

Of grades, results, recruitment they speak!

Whatever they teach, little ever do we grasp,

I care the least for what they ask.

My dreams soar above this world of mules,

They question my dreams? I care not for fools.

They are but cynics, their vision unclear;

Their dreams blinded, crippled by fear.

Dreams don’t belong here, to this rat race;

Blazing beyond, none can catch their pace.

Dream on! Bring the world at your feet;

Follow your dreams! All odds you shall beat.

Ranking and merit are distant extremes,

One relative the other supreme;

They decide rankings on petty grades,

My merits are powered by His eternal grace.

Then who shall dare put numbers to my dreams?

They can never put numbers to my dreams!

No one can put numbers to my dreams!

No one can put numbers to my dreams!

I have known this feeling forever, and it rejuvenates when someone harmonious writes it down. I had this notion that since I am no star dropped from the sky, I should know what general people do, and others should be able to perform what I can. Well, it is not to be so. I am an individual who cannot be compared to any other, be it my own siblings. And they cannot quantify my abilities and my sight.
Gantavya wrote this, and I thank him for letting me use it for my blogpost. And I wish him the best, he has been a good contemporary.

The Last Page

2009-01-15T09:42:00.003-05:00

Hillarious http://www.thelastpage.org/

What say?

Akshay bhaiya

2009-01-09T07:37:00.008-05:00

Akshay bhaiya died two days ago at Reliance refinery in Jamnagar in an explosion which occured while a pipeline was being tested at the hydrogen plant of the newly commissioned refinery at Moti Khavdi. He was 25.
Before going to Jamnagar he stayed in Daund, near Pune. And he used to come down to Pune to meet his younger brother Alok and me almost every weekend. We used to go sit at a sugarcane juice centre, then take a walk on FC road and then have mosambi juice, and he would reluctantly take the last bus to Daund and get back to work. For a year this continued, and I never realised how close we had grown over this ritual.
In those times together, I realise now, he had been acting so like a big brother. Always encouraging me to follow my dreams and to have my own way, and setting an excellent example of independence he showed light to a girl in her teens on handling transitions. Matured as he was, I have seen him frown only so few times all throughout. He has been among the first to come to my mind in cases where I have seen men love. The enthusiasm that he carried with him and the grace with which he transferred it to others was something that I wanted to learn from him. He loved to trek, to adventure, to work, to live. He loved it when we sent him Rakhis that we made ourselves. He came down when I met an accident just to tell me to take care. And I loved it when he cared.
My mind still does not accept that he is not going to be around, he won't be smiling upon me next time on Rakshabandhan. It still does not register that I won't speak to him ever again. I used to sit beside him, talk to him, laugh with him, go shopping, walk aimlessly with him. My mind is in a hanged state because it does not seem possible that he vanished in one second of that cursed explosion.
I don't want him to go, but I cannot make myself accept that its not something we can help.
All I want to say to Akshay bhaiya is that you were loved by your family, your friends and all around you.
May God bless your soul.

Bitching

2008-10-22T12:35:00.005-04:00

I went to Vapi for a couple of days for an industrial visit. We were a group of 30 from my department, UGs and PGs. The visit was good and the industries huge. Though we didn't understand very much, our vision exploded. The scale of the industries was very intimidating, yet very motivating.
But one thing that really stung was my group that went there. Undergrads were second yearites and third yearites. For some unexplainable reason, these guys hate each other. Neither of them can stand the company of the other. Second yearites say that the third yearites are such samples that none other than themselves can tolerate them. The thirdies on the other hand ask us how we survive with these second year guys around us.
You stay with a person, he tries to socialise with you, and after he is gone you curse him behind his back with a friend. Appreciation of an effort toh door ki baat, you go one step ahead to critisize their dressing sense, speaking attitude and even to define their character. And you do it to every person that you meet, not withstanding the fact that you know they are doing the same to you and hating them for it. I mean, how much energy are you going to spend in cursing people for each second of your day? Do you even realise that you end up doing hardly anything other than criticism in the entire day? Plus the negetivity that you are spreading is so infectious that you are spoiling others' time. And you aren't even gaining anything by doing this, just frustration over how this world is the worst place to live in.
Grow up guys, you know you weren't born to be this. Things can go in ways that you don't like, that doesn't mean you declare to yourself that everyone else is an asshole. There is a justification to whatever people do, no one in this world does something when he knows that it is wrong. So introspect and see for yourself that no one is bad after all. And if you can, stop bitching about people.

A letter from Abraham Lincoln to his son's head master

2008-10-12T12:08:00.013-04:00

He will have to learn, I know, that all men are not just, all men are not true. But teach him also that for every scoundrel there is a hero: that far every selfish politician, there is a dedicated leader…

Teach him that for every enemy there is a friend. It will take time, I know a long time, but teach, if you can, that a dollar earned is of more value then five of found.

Teach him, to learn to lose…And also to enjoy winning. Steer him away from envy, if you can, teach in the secret of quiet laughter.

Teach him, if you can the wonder of books…But also given quiet time wonder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun, and flowers on the green hillside.

In a school teach him, it is far more honorable to fail than to cheat…

Teach him to have faith in his own idea, even if anyone else tell him they are wrong…

Teach him to be gentle with gentle people and tough with tough.

Teach him to listen to all men…But teach him also to filter all he hears on a screen of truth, and take only the good one that comes through.

Teach him, if you can, how to laugh when he is sad. Teach him there is no shame in tear.

Teach them to sell his brawn and brain to the highest bidder but never to put a prize tag on his heart and soul.

Teach him gently, but do not cuddle him, because only the test of fire makes the fine steel.
Teach him always to have sublime faith in himself because then he will always have some sublime faith in mankind.

This is a big order, but see what can you do… He is such a fine little fellow, my son!

Dad”

This is something that really makes you think.

UD placed

2008-09-24T00:12:00.005-04:00

Eight techies from UD got placed in Evalueserve at Gurgoan for 4.5 lac per annum package!! This is one of the happiest news that have I got. Not only did we not have good placements before this, the companies that come to our college underestimate techies so so much, that even this company had initially refused to interview students from branches other than Chem. Engg. and B.Tech Pharma. Our dear Prof. Rathod then went and convinced them that he would get good material from the other tech branches as well. So they agree and interview undergraduates and graduates from Chem Engg, Pharma, Foods, Polymers, Paints and Textiles (Dyes and Oils, hard luck. You guys will get a better company next time). And in the end they select eight people from undergraduate techies!! This has been the highest package for techies (its bad with us otherwise), and I am proud to say they were all undergraduate techies, no Chem Engg no PGs.
This has been one of the rare occasions when I was unconditionally happy, and not for myself. Each one of them who got placed deserves kudos. Technically sound as they are, none of them is a bookworm. They have been doing very well in sports, technical fests everywhere and one of them has even been to Spain for a summer project. UD has always given a good platform for exhibition of varied talents, and these guys utilised it.
And to add to the good news, UD has been officially deemed to be a university. As a result, UICT(University Institute of chemical technology) has been rechristened the University of Chemical Technology. So now UD can have its own funding (it already had that), advertising programme and no restrictions from the University of Mumbai. Also, our professors won't have to pay one third of their consultancy charges to the University (UD used to be the highest source of income to the University once upon a time). So I guess it gives the profs another incentive to stay behind with an extention after they retire. Once University's Department of Chemical Technology, UD has now become a University itself!
Overall 21st and 22nd September have been good days for UD.

Milestones

2008-08-26T05:36:00.009-04:00

Some things that happened to me for good. There are more to come...

High School Scholarship Exam. Though not the exam, but the study and the people around me then made it the best time in my life.
Reading Harry Potter. It taught me how to to dream.... It was after this that I really started reading.
Changing my school to Rangubai. I met a different cadre of people over there, the competition that I liked. Dunno what I would have done in St. Philomena's.
IITP. There has been nothing like it.
Paper presentation in UICT.
The first tweetup that I attended. To me it opened a whole new spectrum of people to meet, things to do, ways to think.

What to do at 5am?

2008-07-29T20:49:00.009-04:00

Its 5 am now, I am awake and in search of something to do. Bad that we can't go out of my hostel before 6. But then what can one do early in the morning in a hostel when all others are asleep?
Okay, one option is to exercise, that is what most people do early in the morning. Do yoga or go cycling, play basketball. It keeps you in shape, and you need it direly even if you swear on God that you are healthy.
Else, you can study (I say its a bad option, you can't waste beautiful mornings like that. Though I don't say you shouldn't study, just do it some other time of the day).
Wish all your friends good morning, specifying that you are awake before all of them are (which is once in a blue moon, since you are famous for getting up 15 mins before the class).
Go around for a walk, observe nature. A good time for photography it is, if you find it beautiful with the streets empty and all birds coming out for food. And at a time like this, when it has rained all night, you go outside and everywhere there is green (even in concrete Mumbai). You might notice the number of boys selling newspapers, the only so few coffee shops open, aunties going to the temples, Aarey milk being delivered. And you might realise that there are so many people whose day begins so much more before yours does. And that our teachers are a lot more active than we are. At a time that we are so comfortably fast asleep, they have to exercise, devote time to their house (including the garden), check and reply to mail, spend time with their children, not to mention to prepare for the day's classes. I can't help realising what a serious waste I am.
Have a long bath in hot hot water, and there is no one around to rap the door and ask you to hurry up. It is one pleasure that you can't have at places other than home, or at such odd times in the hostel.
Or a last option is to write a blog post like I am writing now which takes your time away, and I would say productively. Or I at least have a assurance of knowing that even if I write something that is crap, it will at least be recorded ;)

"Soltitude"

2008-07-21T06:30:00.007-04:00

Its amazing how many pictures you can find on google image search when you type "soltitude" for "solitude". It seems many people just read it that way :)

They say that our mind often reads words as we want them to be read, not as they are. This is one of them.

Being with myself

2008-06-28T14:23:00.006-04:00

Its holidays just now in the college, undergrad sems start 1st July. People hadn't come back yet, and I was still in UD because of the lab work that I was doing. The routine had me going to the lab, coming back for lunch and small Lost session, then going to the lab again and coming back to the hostel. It was after my friend, who had stayed for her in-plant-training, left for her home, that I started being by myself. I had never been a very social animal, I'd rather stay back in my room and watch the rain pouring onto the surface of Bombay. But as the first year of engg had it, being a hostellite had given me so many friends, and I started enjoying every one's company and realised that socialising wasn't all that bad after all. We had our classes together, meals, movies, gossips, freaking, and loads of other things that we did together. There were times that I would prefer staying with my friends than going home to my parents. I was addicted to them.
And then came this summer, when I decided that I wanted to stay there in UD. It was a two month long vacation, and I figured that it would anyway be boring staying at home. So a couple of friends and I stayed back. Then one friend left, and then the other, and I was left alone, a loner as I used to be earlier. I missed my friends very much, at least the first few days. It was real bad without them, but I had novels and movies to my rescue, and I made good use of them. I spoke discreetly to my parents, not much to friends, not very much to the people around me. I went to the lab, and the fact that others there were PhD students, helped me staying reserved.
After the quiet I started being with myself, giving time to myself, enjoying the privacy that you have when no one else is around. It had been a long time, more than a year, since I had this much privacy, yet this much freedom. It wasn't bad to be giving time to yourself, devote me to myself. And the rain helped, really. It is bliss hearing the rain hitting the concrete outside your window and having hands cupped around the hot coffee mug. It is reliving some good moments, and some bad ones too to discover that you have started thinking in a much more matured way, to tell the right from the wrong now when you couldn't do it then. It is introspecting, to see that you end up doing what you felt was correct then. It is the being at peace from knowing yourself, really knowing yourself. No bothers and no burqas. Just me and no one else. Books and movies, yes but mostly thinking. Long hours of staying awake in the bed, thinking away into oblivion. And dreaming too. Good dreams they were, though I don't remember most of them. Brought out things to me that I had long forgotten. Small memories, but real sweet ones which would keep me alive the entire day.
And believe me, you can get addicted to this phase of your life too. Like it so much that you miss it when the usual hullabaloo takes on again. You want to have it back, but know better of it, that it will come back after some time, and it will come right when you need it. Because you are the only one that you have.

Why Home is better than Hostels

2008-06-13T00:09:00.006-04:00

I'll keep updating this whenever I come across things, other than regular, which I think make homes better than hostels.

Your pillow smells of GoodNite All Out instead of dust when you sleep.
There always is a stock of Haldiram's Alu Bhujia waiting to be hogged by you.
You can shower in steaming steaming water for upto infinity.
You can walk without chappals aroud the rooms.
There always is mom's pestering "Get up, study, drink your milk, study, have a bath, study, eat your food, study. Study, study, study!!", and its so much fun not to follow that at all. But now its just so blank without all of it.
You can sleep sooo soundly at home without a care, that you don't even open an eye when three phones are ringing simultaneously in your ear.
You can take fuller breaths at home, here you just choke (this one might be because of the humidity and pollution in Bombay).
You can see a sky full of stars (again Bombay pollution).

It has just started raining

2008-06-11T02:25:00.002-04:00

It’s raining hard here, and I am getting nostalgic now. This time last year, I had come to UD on my own for the first time, new to this place. Had come to the place where I would be spending the next four years, the best part of my life. I still remember that day, I was to take admission forms and fill them up and submit them. I had liked the institute. Had felt great while filling the form, it was real good to be there in the institute where my father had studied and see it as he had described it. And it looked so beautiful when it rained. Everything was so green, and the ground was so uneven that water actually flew as it flows in a stream to the playground. It felt like coming to a place where something was happening. It was damp, no sun, dusky the entire day and real research atmosphere. It had created an impact on my mind, the first day impact you get of the enormity of your dream institute when seeing it for the first time. The rain made it even more immense. The people going by didn't look like just-another-college crowd. They looked good, made you feel good. I was contented then as I have never been contented before or after it.
A whole year has passed, and now sitting in my room I can see the ground in front of me. It’s raining cats and dogs and filling up the ground again. The rhythm of the drops falling can be the best melody to ears. You just close your eyes, and its paradise, tranquil beyond all other things. It makes you reflect, and introspect, and be with yourself. I have got to know new people, and I have learned new things, some concepts I never saw, some effects I never thought possible. This place has opened a new panorama, which can be extended up to infinity. And this rain tells me that all this is to fill you up, one by one as stones in mosaic.

Adios First Year

2008-05-22T12:30:00.004-04:00

My first year of engineering got over, in a jiffy. I vividly remember the admissions' time for me, this time last year. It was time you entered a new life; a point which maneuvers your perspective, towards career and towards life. It was supposed to be a grand event. I don't think it was.
When college started, I had come alone to settle myself up, unlike the other kids who had come with their mothers. Frankly, I was shocked. I had not expected this, people not being independent at this age. Had started dreading the company I would have to keep because I had expected something very different. The first week in UD was a total disappointment. No orientation, no introduction, no lectures. It was as if we had ended up in some wrong institute. No one knew what was happening, and worse, no one cared. Well, that was how it was.
After the first few disappointments, my expectations had become so low that good things came as surprise. Friends - I hadn't thought I would be able to make any in that place; Teachers - we had absolutely no idea about what to expect from the faculty, and good teaching was reassuring; Campus - well, I had taken a liking to the beauty and the quiet of the college. Simple and beautiful; Lenient course - I didn't know if it was good or bad.
And Freshers' Week is a very good time for socializing, which I hadn't realized then, and regret now. Nevertheless, enjoyed Freshers' very much indeed. Everything in that week was for us. Each event was made up to bring out everyone's talent. Had never expected that the freshers could be given so much importance. An effort was made to bring them into the family and its culture. The seniors were great, kudos to them. I had actually started liking my college after that. But happy times don't last long. Exams had come up.
Exams aren't an issue here. Studying isn't an issue, except for those front benchers. And normal people do front benching only in Sem I, never again. Everyone wants to be paying least attention to what the man on the dais is saying, and be discussing who wins (ManU or Chelsea), or how severe the global warming is, or if parents should be telling their children the do's and dont's in this age. But everyone does manage to keep a straight face in front of the teacher (i.e. everyone except me, I had got caught 4 times in a week) and surprise others by witty excuses.
The teachers, their imitators (for those who know A. K. Sahu), good and bad times with them, everything has been worthwhile.
The college fests, entertainment, Bombay as a city, throwball, cutting cakes with spatulas (we truly live chemistry), carrying drafters all over the place, all of it was so occupying that no sense of time remained. And time flies. Time flies like hell. In no time, its the end of the year, we are done with exams and have a 2 month long vacation ahead. People say they have already started decaying slowly. Its just not the same without the lectures, labs, the recreation center, the throwball games, the smell of chemicals in the air around us. I had thought life was all screwed because of all this. Well, now I think life is screwed without it.
The fourth yearites have left, and freshers will be coming now. I don't feel like a senior as yet. Maybe its just a sense of security that you feel when you are a fresher, and you don't want to let go of it. But time moves on.
We've planned loads of things for the juniors. Hoping that their time goes slower than ours, and that they can capture every bit of it and store it and cherish every moment spent as a fresher. After all, you are a fresher only once in your life.

first post

2007-12-05T00:17:00.000-05:00

its been a long time since i started this blog, but am posting now.
been searching for a good topic lately...
thought of writing something related to chemistry, as i am into chemistry, but nothing really clicked. so the search goes on...
meanwhile i'll just keep posting some crap.
sincere apologies if it sucks.
so until next time,
be happy with this.